Releasing the Need to Fix: The Power of Loving Presence

When a loved one is in pain, our instinct is to help, fix, soothe. But real healing doesn’t arise from fixing. It arises from being with. Loving presence means you witness, listen, and honour all that is alive. It says, “You are not broken. You are welcome as you are.” In Tantra, we learn to stay in our heart, avoid over-identifying as a rescuer, and instead become a mirror of deep acceptance and safety.

More than any technique, your presence is the deepest offering you can give. Loving presence says: “You are safe. You are enough.” Simply staying grounded when a loved one is in emotional turmoil, speaking words of affirmation that anchor safety, and knowing how your own embodiment becomes the template for healing, is all that is needed. Learn how presence is not passive. It’s really potent.

One of the greatest shifts for a Tantra practitioner is learning to hold without fixing. In our training, we learn that transformation doesn't come from solving. It comes from presence.

Clients might cry, tremble, shut down, or rage. Our job isn’t to fix them, our job is to stay. To breathe. To witness. To remind their nervous system: “You are safe. You are not too much. You are welcome.”

The need to fix comes from discomfort with another’s pain. But pain is not a problem. It’s a portal. When we hold space from our hearts, we allow clients to find their own wisdom. We affirm their sovereignty.

So next time a loved one is in emotional pain, simply: Stay grounded. Stay in your body. Use tools like breath, grounding visualisations, or touch (with their consent) to offer them safety.

And notice your own reactions: do you want to give advice? Interrupt? Soothe? Instead, breathe deeper. Trust their process.

This is the essence of Tantra Counselling. It’s not about what you do for them. It’s about how you are with their pain.