You Don’t Have to Be Fully Healed to be in Relationship: Embracing our Humanness
Many people hesitate to start a relationship because they feel “not healed enough.”
They carry quiet beliefs like:
“I don’t want to burden anyone.”
“What if they don’t have it all together either?”
“Is this person healed enough to hold me?”
But Tantra teaches that wholeness is not the absence of pain, trauma or baggage. It’s presence with what is.
The people who hold us best are often still walking through their own fires.
And that doesn’t make them any less trustworthy. It makes them real and relatable.
Your partner doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need your loving presence. Tantra challenges the myth of the “fully healed” partner and empowers you to meet yourself and others in the sacred now, with humility, honesty, and heart.
Many single people carry the heavy myth: “I must be fully healed before I can love others adequately.” But the truth of Tantra is this, loving is not about perfection. It is about presence. It’s someone who can meet you in your truth, not because they’ve transcended it all, but because they’ve made a home in their own tenderness.
You can walk beside someone through the dark even if you are still learning to walk yourself. You can hold space with love even if your heart is tender. In fact, your humility, your willingness to sit in the unknown, your courage to show up with rawness, these are your superpowers as an amazing partner.
From Tantra I learnt: ”Partners don’t need a perfect partner. They need a present one.”
Being human is part of the medicine. You are not a perfect husband or wife on a pedestal. You are a mirror. A mirror that offers reflection, presence, and safety. Your honesty builds trust. Your tenderness builds resonance.
Whether you’re journeying with a lover, a practitioner, or a sacred companion, you don’t need them to be “fully healed.”
You need someone who’s present.
Someone whose honesty builds trust.
Someone whose tenderness creates safety.
Someone who won’t flinch when your truth arrives, raw, real, or aching.
What if your loved one’s vulnerability wasn’t a flaw, but part of the medicine?
What if their humility, their willingness to sit in discomfort, their choice to stay open even when things feel messy. What if those were the very things that make the space feel safe?
True healing doesn’t come from someone pretending they’ve never been hurt.
It comes from someone who knows how to hold pain without collapsing.
That’s what presence looks like.
That’s what love makes possible.
That kind of presence is healing in itself.
Rather than hiding your shadows, bring awareness to them. Know your triggers. Befriend your pain. Be aware of your boundaries. This self-responsibility is what makes you a trustworthy person to share a life with.
Healing Is Not About Fixing. It’s About Being.
Tantra doesn’t aim to “fix” you.
It doesn’t ask you to reject any part of yourself.
Instead, it invites you to be with what’s here.
With love. With breath. With honesty.
So whether you’re sitting across from a practitioner, a partner, or simply looking into your own eyes in the mirror, know this:
You are not too broken.
You are not too much.
You are not alone.
You deserve presence.
You deserve honesty.
You deserve love that doesn’t require you, or anyone else, to be perfect.
Tantra isn’t about fixing anyone, including yourself. It’s about being with what is, in love.
Want to Be Held in This Way?
If you long to be met with this kind of sacred presence…
If you’re seeking a space where your shadows, your truth, and your longing are welcome…
If you’re tired of trying to hold it all alone…
You’re warmly invited to step into session with me.
Here, we don’t rush healing.
We let it bloom in its own time.
Not through pressure, but through presence.
Not through fixing, but through feeling.
Not through perfection, but through shared humanity.
Let’s begin, together.
Want to experience this kind of holding? Visit Tantra Counselling or read Loving Presence as the Core of Tantra Healing.
